seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
