Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
