Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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