If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
