On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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