Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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