I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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