Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
