Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
only if we run a train.
done.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He better not be in your backpack
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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