How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
