The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
