she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Randomize
