I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
