I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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