Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Even the bartender felt bad for me
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
