dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
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