Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
