It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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