Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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