I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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