I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
