and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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