When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
