Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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