can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
