i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
