I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
