Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
