You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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