your thong is hanging out like whoa
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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