This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
