Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
