weddingsv make me drug and hornr
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
