I don't think brook has ever known best
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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