I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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