dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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