I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
im six kinds of drunk right now
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Randomize
