she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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