Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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