my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
