I wannas sexs uuuuu
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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