I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
