He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
