I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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