Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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