'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize