i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
