Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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