His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
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We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
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We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
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