I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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