So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
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