He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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