butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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