I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize