ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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