Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
