kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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