Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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