Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
