Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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