I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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