all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
