I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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